If it kills me
by LaNaniuska
Summary: How could the boundaries of friendship be broken. They were about to find out...


Okay, first of all, this story is a different take on Outlaw Queen… well, I don't think it should be labeled like that because instead of Robin/Regina, I'm making it a Lana/Sean…. Yes, yes I know… but before anyone starts rioting, I need to emphasize on something; I mean no disrespect with this. No disrespect to the actors, to their love partners (I'm aware that Lana is happily engaged and that Sean is happily married and I don't mean to imply otherwise) or to their fans; to me this is just a different take on fiction and if you read, I hope you take it as such.

Anyway, when I first got this idea, I shut it down almost immediately because I know how it can throw off some readers but the idea wouldn't leave my mind and I just had to give it a try so here it is.

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"Noooooo, this is ridiculous." The dark haired woman known as Lana Parrilla mumbled under her breath as her jaw dropped wide open. She was in disbelief, no… she was in complete shock; but even though her eyes wanted to escape her face due to her surprise, she just couldn't keep herself from reading the little document flashing from her laptop's screen.

It was all Jen's fault, because the blonde has been the one calling her a couple of weeks ago telling her that she had sent her an e-mail with a link to one particular site; she told her that it was very important that she checked it out and she has urged the raven haired to open it as soon as it was possible because according to her, her nonexistent love live would change for the better with that site.

Now, because her hectic schedule was more than crazy since she was touring overseas with part of the Once Upon a Time cast, she hadn't find the time to actually check it out. There was also the fact that she knew Jen's wicked sense of humor and deep in her heart she knew that chances were that she wasn't going to like that site

It probably was one of her jokes or something like that. Besides, even if the site held all the attributes Jen was describing, the truth was that she didn't want to change the status of her love life, especially not since she was still wounded by her not so long ago break up with her former fiancé. Besides she didn't have time for a love live and she didn't need it; she was very busy with her life as it was adding a man to the mix was the last thing she wanted in that moment.

But that night she was bored out of her mind and she had some time to kill so she finally opened all of her emails, including Jen's. After all there was a rain storm ragging outside with thunder and lighting and she was one of the unlucky ones who stayed trapped at the hotel. So, after going through all her mails and answering a good part of her fan mail, she visited the site, at the end if it all regretting that of all nights she chose to do so, she chose the one _he_ was with her.

Now talk about choosing the wrong time at the wrong place; but she wasn't the one to blame because never in her life would she have imagined the site was about her and Sean… well, about Regina aka The Evil Queen and Robin Hood but wasn't that indirectly the same?

_'Because everybody knows what you two are too blind to see_.' That has been Jen's conclusion in the email.

"This is so, so stupid." She hissed under her breath once again as she stole a glance at the man sitting across from her. He was oblivious to all but the phone he had glued in his hand, he was engrossed with it and she was glad.

'Good, because the last thing I need is him taking a look at this.' She thought to herself as she averted her eyes back to the screen, continuing with the story… or fan fiction as it was known around the web.

Now, when she first entered the site it seemed like a harmless thing and definitely not the life-changing, problem-solving, man-finding solution Jen had assured her it was. It was just a fan site dedicated to a character she played.

It was called the Outlaw Queen Fan-Site and there were quite a few pictures of their scenes together and of their signings, some videos and even some detailed descriptions of why they were meant to be together. It was kind of awkward, but after all the Oncers were very dedicated and passionate about the characters they liked and Regina happened to be one of the most popular ones.

So, yes, it has been all good, weird as it was she didn't freak out about it and if Jen had wanted to unnerve her with that she had failed in her attempt. Oh but she knew what she wanted to do, in fact, she should have been expecting something like that because her dear friend was always breathing on her neck implying that there was something more behind her friendship with Sean, thing that of course was far from the truth.

She and Sean were nothing more than friends, and not even platonic friends, mind you. He was just a fun guy to be around and since they had been working so close together, they got along perfectly fine.

Sure, she wasn't going to deny that he was a good looking man but so were half her co-workers and that didn't mean she wanted to date them all, not at all. Quite the contrary, she was sure all of them made for lousy dates anyway.

So, a harmless site it has been, but then she clicked to enter the part with the so infamous fanfics, the ones she was warned not to check by Ginniffer and Josh and everything that was good was good no more.

There were at least a dozen of them and they all turned out to be love stories about none others than Robin and Regina, not something unexpected but something that made her feel a bit awkward anyway. She had wanted to exit the site immediately… but curiosity won over her awkwardness and she began reading one.

The story was something about a bitter Regina hating on the world and on everyone who wasn't Henry, at least until Robin Hood came along to save her from her own demons, sweeping her off her feet with his undying-repressed love. She had quietly laughed at it, until the part came where they began to have sex, starting at the woods, against a tree and concluding with Regina straddling Robin and riding him as if there was no tomorrow. It was one of those moments where she wanted to say out loud a big What The Fuck!, of course she didn't, she kept on reading.

Shifting on her chair, Lana could feel herself blushing as the steamy story unfolded before her eyes. Whoever the writer was, he or she was very livid with the descriptions and she had to bite hard on her lips to suppress a nervous laugh that wanted to escape. True, reading about Outlaw Queen was awkward but oddly addicting.

Not wanting to get caught, she looked over to where he was sitting just to check if he was looking back at her, and much to her distress he was.

Feeling one step away from getting busted, she smiled what she believed to be a sweet smile to her friend, waiting for him to go back to playing on his phone so she could continue with her reading.

"What is so amusing?" He asked raising an eyebrow as his thick accent broke the silence.

With the smile still on her face, Lana dragged a finger through the keyboard and pressed the backspace button two times. "Nothing… why do you ask?"

Sean gave her a weird look and put the phone down over the desk that separated them, then she returned him the same look he was giving her and raised her own eyebrows.

"What, what is it?"

"Just wondering why you are acting all weird over this _nothing_." He said while wheeling his chair to hers and just in case she clicked the button one more time before he could reach her.

Chuckling, Lana ran her hand through her hair and looked up to his face. "I'm not acting weird, you are. Hey, why don't you go and see if it stopped raining? I want to get out of here. Like now."

"What? Go out and miss what got you all bothered? No way." He laughed as he parked his chair next to hers.

Lana watched through half closed eyes as he got closer to her and leaned in her direction so he could take a look at the screen; in that moment she wondered why she didn't just push him away.

"The Outlaw Queen Fansite… now what's this?" He looked questioningly to her and she shrugged.

"Can you believe that?" She asked in a perplexed-fake tone of voice as he moved the laptop to him.

Sean didn't reply and instead started to click his way through the site. She waited, biting on her lips and watching as his expression changed from serious concentration to plain amusement. She didn't know why, but as soon as he started grinning she had the distinct feeling that he just found the fan fiction part.

"Ha, did you know there are stories here about Outlaw Queen in here, love stories?"

"What? No way!" Using her foot, the dark haired actress pushed his chair as far away as she could and moved the laptop to her. "Let me see," After faking to be reading for a while she opened her eyes wide and gasped. "Wow…. This…."

Laughing, he neared his chair back beside hers and leaned forward to take a look. Mortified, she tried to push him away once more but he saw her intention and pushed her chair instead, making her roll away into the distance.

"Let's see what we have here." He took the laptop in his hands and began to read from it out loud. 'The Queen's knees grew weak as Robin's tongue slid into the wet cave that was her mouth, if it wasn't for the fact that he was holding her against his strong body…" With a huge cheeky smile plastered on his face, Sean looked at her as she wheeled her way back to him. "Strong body, I like this."

"Give me that." She snapped the laptop away from him and turned it off. "No wonder I was warned never to read fanfictions." She said turning the back of her chair to him.

"I was warned the same but I don't know, I think I kind of like it."

"Yeah, well of course you do, you are a man and dirty creatures that you are, you like anything that relates to sex. I didn't like it, character or not I don't know if I like people describing me having sex with you or with anyone. God I'm going to kill her."

"Wait, wait…" She was cut off when he turned her chair around so that she was facing him. "Sex? What I read was just about a kiss. Was there sex in it?"

Right in that moment, there was nothing Lana wanted more than to slap that stupid smirk off his face. God, it was in moments like these when she wondered why she even considered him a friend.

"How the hell am I supposed to know, in case you didn't notice I turned it off before your imagination began to run wild.

"No, too late for that, babe. My imagination started to run wild way before you turned that thing off." He wriggled his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes.

"You are such a pig, ugh, I think I hate you." She tried to wheel her chair away from his but he was holding it still, preventing her from going anywhere.

"Me? But you were the one who was sneaking into that site, in fact I feel…"

"I wasn't sneaking; I was looking for some pictures. You are the one who came upon those stories. Stories that might I add are plain ridiculous and completely inaccurate."

"Is that so… inaccurate how? You can't tell if you haven't read them?"

"Oh come on, what you read out loud was enough for me to know. I mean, knees getting weak with a single kiss. Please!"

There was no way she was going to confess she had been reading one of those stories, it would only inflate his ego and God knew it was huge enough as it was.

"I don't think that's inaccurate, and if you have never feel it, then you've been kissed by the wrong guys." He said, a huge annoying grin adorning his face.

She snorted, feeling everything but amusement in that particular moment. "Let's not go there okay; but back to the point, one man, another one, this guy, it's all the same. No man can make my knees get all week because of a simple kiss… unless they have bad breath and I want to faint, of course." Wait, was she rambling? It sure felt like it.

"Bullshit," He said in his strong drawl while pulling her chair closer to him. "It's like I told you before, if you think like that it's because you have been kissed by the wrong men and you obviously haven't been kissed by me."

Lana smirked and leaned forward into him, getting dangerously close while keeping a distance. "Oh but I have, Sean, and many times may I add and let me tell you that you didn't sweep me off my feet or reduced me into a puddle of goo by your apparently overrated kissing skills."

Sean smiled his cocky smile, his blue eyes shining in amusement. "Those acted up kisses? They barely count as real kissing.

"They didn't?" But why, if I remember correctly and chances are that I don't, you had your lips on mine, I had my lips on yours and where I come from that counts as kissing."

Sure, all of their smooches had been scripted on-camera kisses that didn't last more than twenty seconds but they were kisses no matter what. Hell, there were even tons of pictures of them in the site she has just seen, from all angles and all.

"Nah uh, not at all. None of them can count as kissing because trust me, if I were to kiss you properly you wouldn't be able to think straight for days."

At those words, Lana laughed out loud, throwing her head back and all; but even if she reacted like that there was a nervous note in her laugh that she hoped went unnoticed by him.

"In fact, I think you would get weak in the knees way before I actually started kissed you."

"Hmm, I don't think so, Casanova." She said in all confidence. After all that was Sean she was talking to and much like Jen, the man apparently took a wicked pleasure in molesting her with that kind of nonsense.

"Is that a challenge, Lana?" He asked in a lazy tone as he dropped his eyes down to her lips and then back to her eyes. After that he smiled at her, his eyes challenging. Damn him, he knew her too well to know she would never back from a challenge… but she also knew him well enough to know he wouldn't on carry with it.

Sean was all talk, he was almost like a politician in that aspect and she wasn't scared of that. So with that in mind she shrugged. "Fine then, go ahead and kiss me."

And voila, just like she knew he would do, Sean blinked a couple of times and froze where he sat. She knew right there that he wasn't going to do it and she had to hold herself from laughing out loud. All that big body and so little resolution, ha.

But then he smiled again and arched an eyebrow. "You think you can handle it?"

"Can you?"

He dropped his head down and chuckled, running his finger through his short light hair as Lana watched him. After a few seconds, he lifted his head back up to look at her.

She was smirking, waiting for him to come up with an excuse not to go on with it; she knew he was going to back down and she was going to love it.

But he didn't say anything; he just pulled her chair even closer and leaned into her. Her smirk faded into a slight smile and before she could register it in her mind he pressed his lips right to the corner of her mouth.

She gulped as the soft warmness of his lips started to slide down to her throat, placing small kisses along the way as she bit hard on her lower lip and closed her eyes, oddly enjoying the feeling of his light stubble scratching lightly at her skin.

"That's not kissing." She managed to whisper as he nibbled at her flesh while the tip of his tongue darted forward to taste her. It tickled in a good way and she breathed in as she felt him smile and then whisper against her skin.

"All in time-"

Despite herself she smiled too. It was all crazy and definitely not how she envisioned her night to turn into, especially now that she was grabbing hard at the edge of the chair she was sitting on.

It was just that what her friend and onscreen love interest was doing with his lips and tongue felt amazing and she just didn't know what to do with her hands. She even considered sitting over them but that would give him the 'victory'.

"So how are those knees?" He asked, placing a hand over one of them.

Bastard…

She cleared her throat, afraid that if she didn't her voice would sound more as a squeal. "They are just fine."

"Hmmm." He muffled as he moved his lips down to her collarbone.

Unable to help it, she threw her head back to grant him more space so he could continue his sweet ministrations and he didn't waste any time on claiming the exposed flesh with his lips, running his tongue way up before pulling at her skin with his teeth.

Now, she could feel the situation getting out of control and she vaguely registered in her brain that one of them needed to back down. She should be the one to stop things, after all with the combination of his lips and his fingers slowly tracing circles over her knee and up her tight was making her legs turn into rubble; thankfully she was sitting and he had no way of knowing.

Slowly, the hand he had on her knee crawled its way up to her hip where it came to rest comfortably, and under his subtle touch she could feel her groin turn liquidly warm.

It was inevitable, she was only human and she couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped her lips. The minute it was out she froze in confusion, wondering if he had noticed the reaction he was provoking in her, she hoped he hadn't.

And seriously, what was wrong with them? They were friends and colleagues and she liked being in the comfort zone of friendship with him, it was safe… this wasn't.

Sighing it defeat, Lana realized that Sean took notice of her reaction, she knew because he stopped running his lips and tongue all over her throat and even with her eyes closed she knew there was a big grin on his face as he looked at her.

Flustered, she ran her tongue along her lips and opened her eyes to find him just like she expected, looking at her with a stupid grin on his face. This was the part where he was supposed to gloat; God, she was never going to hear the end of it!

"Well," He said in a murmur but she couldn't find her voice to respond so she just looked at him expectantly. "I still haven't kissed you…"

He let the words linger in the air and when she didn't utter a word in return he slowly leaned into her, giving her enough time to stop him.

And of course, having her mind in the clouds she didn't do anything to stop him; she just held her breath as his lips brushed against hers. For a while he just remained there, their lips joined with the merest of touches and it wasn't until he knew she wasn't going to protest the contact that he added more pressure into it.

Lifting his hand to her face, he used his thumb to pull down at her chin so that he could get access into her, and if he had made her legs turn to rubble earlier, the contact of his tongue nudging at hers left her weak all over.

He has been right, those previous scripted kisses were nothing, go figure!

In no time the kiss turned more insistent, his face angling to the side while his tongue caressed hers into action. And all that she let it happen, particularly liking how he began to explore her until the kiss started getting hungrier as she matched him movement for movement.

Now, as she felt the air being stolen out of her lungs, she was finding that kissing him was quite addicting and she couldn't get enough of it, of him. The warmness of his mouth, the sweet urgency of his kiss and the way his fingers buried themselves into her hair to pull her even more closer to him…

But even though it felt more than nice, she couldn't help but to question the moment. Was this meant to be? It felt like it, how cheesy was that? But no… it couldn't be, this was Sean, her friend, and even though he was the man that would make her laugh until her stomach hurt, he was also the one who would make her grunt in disgust with his nasty eating habits; he was Sean, yes, a friend… but also the man who gave her love advice when she broke up with Fred not so long ago and he was also the friend who was going through a divorce and to whom she recently told him that he should give his marriage a second chance so how and why was she kissing him?

Before things could escalate into something they could both regret, her hand found its way up to his cheek and with a soft caress she pulled away from him. It was crazy, her breathing was unsteady, she could feel her cheeks flushed and as much as she wanted to she couldn't find it in her gut to look into his eyes. "Sean, this… is a big no, no."

He lifted her chin with his fingers so that he could see her face, but she still refused to open her eyes.

"You said it was okay for me to do it; hey, look at me."

"I know, but I didn't think you were really going to do it." The dark haired said and she also did as he told her and looked at him, getting lost into the clouded blue eyes that were staring back into her own eyes.

"You thought I was going to pass up the opportunity, ha."

Blinking slowly, Lana couldn't help but to think that everything was done, they had crossed the line, the one that had defined their friendship through the past months or so… and it was all because Jen and those damn stories.

"You know," She chuckled and rolled her eyes, trying to cover up her embarrassment with a fake easy going attitude. "I was never given a fair chance in this; I mean you pulled a cheating move on me by doing that thing in my neck. That's a sensitive spot for me, Sean!"

Smiling his most charming smile, he licked his lips and got a bit closer to her, almost close enough to kiss her once again and definitely close enough for her to get a clear scent of his fine cologne. "Alright, if you want we can do this again and go straight to the kissing part. But just to give you a fair chance."

Letting out a nervous laugh travel pass her lips, she shook her head. "Um, no. Once was enough."

"Well, but then don't go saying I cheated because I didn't."

"I won't say that."

"So are we ok?" He asked and she couldn't help but to smile at his concern. Was he aware of what he was doing to her in that moment? He was making her feel confused about what she was feeling and she didn't like that.

"I'ts fine, it's just that… this whole thing." More mortified than ever, she brought her hands up to her face and covered herself. "God I can't believe you kissed me."

Hidden behind her hands, Lana rested her head against his shoulder as he placed his hand at the back of her head. For a while they just remained in silence, each one contemplating the events that had the potential of changing their friendship… but was it for the better or for the worse?

"Do you want me go?" He asked burying his nose into her hair. "I'll leave if you tell me to."

"No… well I don't know." She confessed as he angled her face up to his.

She blinked, watching something in his eyes that she couldn't place; was it regret? Of course it had to be, what else could it be?

"Do you want to leave?" She asked, holding her breath as she waited for his answer.

He didn't speak but he shook his head no. "But I'll do it if you want me to."

At that, Lana took a deep breath without taking her eyes from his. This could be the end of it all or the beginning of something, she wasn't sure yet. The only thing that she knew was that when she woke up that morning, a kiss was the last thing she would have expected from Sean, but now that it happened she was sure it was going to be in her mind when she went to bed and then it was still going to be there the morning after.

Tilting her head, she saw that he was still waiting for her answer and she smiled at the uncertainty on his face. This was another Sean, one that she didn't know and one that she found quite charming. Did she want him to leave? Not really. So wrinkling her nose, she rolled her eyes and finally responded to him. "Stay, I want you to stay."

*FIN*

Okay, so this is it. Hope it didn't throw anyone off. It's a little one shot but trust me, the one I wanted to write was way longer and perhaps way riskier! As for my other stories, I hope to go back to them soon, my work schedule is all messed up and so is my time. Take care.


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